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Some More Thoughts about Conflict

posted by agammy

As a coach, it’s good to remember that conflict situations in the workplace are more often caused by the perception of incompatible goals than by something personal, and that sometimes an individuals’ perception of the situation differs greatly from the reality of it.Typically, conflict occurs when one person thinks they can’t get their goals accomplished if someone else gets their goals accomplished. This makes sense when two people are competing for one job or if there is a true win-lose situation, but sometimes understanding competing goals is more complex. Sometimes competition isn’t the only way to handle the conflict. In many cases there is room for people to work together to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both.

How do you resolve a conflict at work?

A good first step is to outline the competing goals for both parties. Make sure everyone involved understands the actual goals of both parties (some people confuse the means to the end with the goal itself.) Make sure the involved parties describe their individual struggle because conflicts between people cannot be solved if each party is only aware of their own needs/issues.

Urge the involved parties to reassess the situation in light of their actual goals and needs. Is a report really mad about having to work over-time, or are they actually feeling disrespected because they weren’t given enough notice to reschedule their plans? The situation should be outlined as clearly as possible and with focus on the behavior rather than the people involved. Perhaps there are conflicting goals and needs. Listen for them. Urge both parties to take the other person’s goals into account when they respond - maybe there is a way to collaborate rather than compete.

If there is no way to collaborate so both parties fully get their needs met, compromising can be a good way to find an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties. Compromising might mean splitting the difference between two people’s goals, or looking for a quick middle-ground position. You might ask the people involved to highlight the most desired outcome, and then look for acceptable secondary outcomes. This works best when neither party has a large personal investment in the outcome.

I know my preferred outcomes in conflict are Compromise or Collaboration, but there are actually many ways to handle Conflict, and many situations where Competition, Accommodation, or even Avoidance is an appropriate response (for example, avoiding might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping an issue, or withdrawing from a threatening situation.) If you are interested in learning more about types of Conflict-resolution, or have some clients who could use some extra advice about Conflict, check out the TKI - its a great tool for looking at the natural ways people approach conflict.