Using the Myers-Briggs for Conflict Resolution
posted by agammy
As a coach, you are in a unique position to help organizations manage conflict more effectively, so they can make forward progress in spite of it. I think that almost all of CPP’s products are useful in conflict resolution situations, but since I have been heavily involved with using the MBTI lately, I’d like to share an MBTI exercise that I think really helps people see and understand WHY we have conflict in the first place. This is a great exercise to use in 1 on 1 coaching, but it is also good for groups, and is a great conversation starter about the different sorts of things that can trigger conflict.
In type theory, there are 4 conflict pairs - TJ, TP, FJ, FP and they not only have different ideas of how to solve conflict, but also have totally different ways of perceiving conflict - for example, what seems like a stressor to people with a TJ preference may be completely acceptable to a person who prefers FP.
Exercise:
Which of these scenarios would bother you the most?
- A conflict occurs between you and a direct report over a personal problem that is affecting the report’s performance. Your report displays anger and seems emotionally out of control. At the end of the conversation you are left knowing performance will continue to be impacted. Due to the nature of the issue, and some standing office politics, you are unable to take action, so the issue will present itself again in the future. (TJ.)
- You and your cube-mate have a heated disagreement about a social issue that turns into a very uncomfortable situation. Your cube-mate is extremely caustic and even a bit cruel. After the conversation ends you sense that there is not forgiveness or acceptance from your cube-mate, and tensions are high after the fact. You sense that you are not liked by the cube-mate. (FJ.)
- Your company is trying to decide whether to hire an applicant, and while you think the person is fit for the role, there are several others who seem to be passing unfair judgment on the applicant. The conversation explodes, with several people over-reacting and being highly disrespectful, and the conflict ends with a hasty decision that doesn’t take your point of view into consideration. (FP.)
- Your team is discussing a possible acquisition and there are differing points of view. There is a huge opportunity for company growth if the right decision is made and the stakes are high. You feel you have a unique solution but your input is not considered, and the group rushes to a quick fix that you know will not solve the problem. In your opinion, your expertise is ignored, and a huge opportunity is missed. (TP.)
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This exercise can be executed in a number of ways. In a one-on-one conversation, it can be a dialogue about the types of conflict, and you and a client could brainstorm ways to solve each scenario. In a group, you could have team members self-select which scenario bothers them the most and why, and see if there are any type patterns that form. Generally, this can divide into type-alike groups, but there will inevitably be some overlap.
In general, scenarios are a great way to spark a conversation between types. In your discussion, you may want to discuss the conflict resolution process, so here is the breakdown of the four conflict types:
TJ - These individuals tend to look decisive, planful, and organized - sometimes they seem critical and blunt.
TP - These individuals often appear objective, always searching for what is right, and can be stubborn.
FJ - These individuals tend to be warm and seek harmony, at times they want to smother with kindness.
FP - These individuals can be sensitive and attuned to people’s needs, and at times they worry for everyone.
Which characteristics described above fit you? What characteristics in others push your buttons? Examining the interplay of the conflict types can facilitate a deeper understanding of how an individual experiences conflict. It’s good to know all of the descriptions, not just your own, so you can know what to expect and adapt in a conflict.
For more information, check out Damian Killen and Danica Murphy’s Introduction to Type and Conflict.
