Guest Blogger—Let’s Discuss Using the TKI in Different Situations
posted by rkilmann
As the co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), I am delighted to announce that I’ll be providing an ongoing series of blog entries for CPP ICON Success.
Recently, I formed a new company, Kilmann Diagnostics, with my son Chris to help resolve conflict throughout the world. As a result, we are now offering an eight-hour, live, online course that enables participants to enhance their skills for using both the TKI and MBTI® assessments to manage complex problems in organizations (which, by nature, generate profound differences and challenging conflicts). Our online course is called “Advanced Training in Conflict Management.” You can get more information about this online course (and more information about both assessment) by visiting our website www.kilmanndiagnostics.com.
With this blog series, my son and I will share advanced knowledge about administering, interpreting, and using the TKI and MBTI assessments in a wide variety of situations-based on my nearly forty years of researching and consulting with these two assessments.
Here is one important distinction to get the discussion going. There are two kinds of “avoiding” to keep in mind: good avoiding and bad avoiding. Good avoiding is when you purposely leave a conflict situation in order to collect more information, wait for tempers to calm down, or because you’ve concluded that what you first thought was a vital issue isn’t that important after all. Bad avoiding, however, is when the topic is very important to both persons (and to the organization), but you aren’t comfortable with confronting other people. Instead, you’re inclined to sacrifice your needs for others-which undermines your self-esteem, leaves you perpetually dissatisfied, and prevents you from learning from others.
Bottom line: Only avoid when that approach to conflict serves to satisfy your needs as well as the needs of others-whether in the short term or long term. But don’t avoid conflict simply because that mode is unfamiliar or uncomfortable to you. With awareness and practice (which builds self-confidence), you can easily learn to get both your needs and the other person’s needs met-for the best of both worlds.
